In response to RedLetterMedia’s Avatar review, I wanted to point out some of the greatest “over-the-top” villains in movie history that make Stephen Lang’s Quaritch (in Avatar) seem tame in comparison.

Today we’re going to visit Total Recall’s Vilos Cohaagen. Check out the video below to get yourself familiar with this charming individual.

***The video has some language NSFW***

Personally, I think he’s hilarious! This performance really makes his Robocop role as Dick Jones seem quite reserved in comparison. He’s such a caricature of all that is bad and evil in science fiction. If Quaritch seemed like a caricature, then Cohaagen crumples up that lousy drawing and wipes his ass with it.

Here are some of his quotes that you can use on your friends at parties or at church!

VILOS SAYS:

“…I’ve got the greatest job in the solar system. As long as the turbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything! In fact, the only thing I ever worry about is that one day… if the rebels win, it all might end. And you’re f**king making it happen!”

“Great, ’cause otherwise, I’ll erase your ass!”

“…you like Melina, right? Well, you get to f**k her every night. That’s right, she’s going to be Hauser’s babe.”

“Uh-uh, Princess. We’re having you fixed. You’re gonna be respectful, compliant, and appreciative… the way a woman should be.”

“What the f**k is going on down there?”

“If I wanted him dead, you moron, I wouldn’t have dumped him on Earth!”

“I just spoke with Lori. She says he can’t remember jack s**t!”

“F**k ‘em. It’ll be a good lesson to the others.”

“Who gives a s**t what you believe? In thirty seconds you’ll be dead, and I’ll blow this place up and be home in time for Corn Flakes.”

“You’re nothing! You’re nobody! You’re a stupid dream! Well, all dreams come to an end.”

Quite a charmer isn’t he?

Join us again when we do another character study on an overly ridiculous villain or supporting cast.